7 Ways to Grow Your Emotional Intelligence for Referral Success

As you know from last week’s tip, emotional intelligence is “your ability to recognize and understand emotions in yourself and others, and your ability to use this awareness to manage your behaviour and relationships”
Today’s tip will be a summary of the 7 ways by which you can “recognize and understand emotions in yourself”. 8 more ways will be revealed in next week’s tip.
This ability “to recognize and understand emotions in yourself”, known as self-awareness, is a foundational skill for high emotional intelligence, the number one trait that will lead to relationship and referral success.
And, yet, as we noted last week from the research of Bradberry and Greaves in their book Emotional Intelligence 2.0, “only 36 percent of the 500,000+ people tested in their research project are able to accurately identify their emotions as they happen”.
Let’s have a look at the first 7 Self-Awareness Strategies the Bradberry and Greaves identify in their book,

1.     Quit Treating Your Feelings as Bad or Good – Isolating and listening to your emotions is what it’s all about. You can’t listen well if you are judging your emotions.


2.     Observe the Ripple Effect of Your Emotions –What you say or do has an impact on the others who are in the room, especially if you are a leader, teacher, parent. Are you having the impact that you are seeking?


3.     Lean into Your Discomfort – Sure there are going to be some emotions that you will explore that you will not enjoy. It’s worth working through that discomfort. There is too much to lose when you don’t allow your emotions to be known to yourself. Lean into your discomfort and say goodbye to personal unhappiness, lack of fulfillment, anxiety…


4.     Feel Your Emotions Physically – The Body never lies. Emotions show up first in your body. Whether it is clenched hands, a tightness in your stomach or chest or a sudden bout of low energy, your body is speaking to you. Learn to listen to your body.


5.     Know Who and What Pushes Your Buttons – By clearly identifying your triggers, the people, behaviour or situations that cause an emotional response in you, you can plan in advance about what you will do when the trigger occurs. You could avoid or face the trigger: at least your rational self is in control when the trigger presents itself.


6.     Watch Yourself Like a Hawk- Always be watching your own behaviour and be listening to your body in order that you are fully aware about what is going on inside you. Make a point of being vigilant about your emotions and your behaviour


7.     Keep a Journal about Your Emotions- It will help you spot patterns, triggers and opportunities for growth or pruning. This journal will be a good reference point as you look back at your progress.


There will be 8 more ways unfurled in next week’s tip as we review the 15 ways to grow your self-awareness, and ultimately, to grow your EQ or Emotional Intelligence Quotient.

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